On my morning walk yesterday I listened to North Point Community Church podcast. It is my go to to listen to and I always come away with a nugget of wisdom to put into practice in my life.
Today I listened to Part 2 from their series: Three Things I Learned from a Movie I Didn’t Want to See. It’s about the movie Wonder.
The take away I had, and felt compelled to share with you is that “hurt people, hurt people.”
Isn’t that a sad truth?
When someone hurts us, or we hurt someone, it’s usually because there is something within us that has not been dealt with and we pass along the pain.
Clay Scroggins who shared this message, suggested that we learn to “understand others battles so we can love others better.”
I love this because so often we think it is the other person who needs to change for our hearts to be at peace, but what if that’s person who needs to change is us?
We can choose to love or judge others. But what will serve them and our own hearts and minds better? To love.
And when we find ourselves judging I invite you to join me to...
Pause. Breathe. Pray.
And let’s choose to look beyond the behavior and into the heart of the person we are judging. We may never learn someone else’s story but behind every negative word or act is an injured heart.
May we step out of ourselves and into their hurt, even if for a moment, to be able to meet them with greater compassion, kindness and empathy. May we choose to bridge our hurt heart with theirs and see that although our struggles may be different, our struggles have a purpose; and it isn’t to keep us apart, but to bridge our hearts together. May we see each other more transparently and choose to come beside one another with love.
Because loved people, love people💕🙏💕And isn’t that what we need more of in this world?
With love and hope,
Shawn
Another Divine Appointment
After writing my post this morning our family set off for a little getaway. When we arrived at our destination I looked up and saw this street sign next to the place we are staying.
What makes this significant?
My parents are moving to a place called St. James (if you’re still confused, read my previous post).
In my book I call these moments Divine Appointments, when God shows me He is walking this road beside me in life. I am grateful for this lovely appointment that came my way today and made my heart smile knowing God is with me.
I know all is well.
I invite you to join me to...
Pause. Breathe. Pray.
And remember to keep your eyes and ears tuned in to the Divine Appointments set along your path. God is with you and will speak to you in ways that will resonate with where you are on your walk in faith.
I hope your next divine appointment makes your heart smile like this one did for me today💕🙏😊
With love and hope,
Shawn
A Seed Needs To Break In Order to Grow
I am finding the lessons I wrote about in my book are applicable to the current struggles I am experiencing in life. For example, Life Lesson 18 is A Seed Needs To Break In Order to Grow.
Although my struggle is different currently from when I wrote this life lesson, I am in the process of packing up my parents to move them out of state. I live in my hometown and am currently five minutes away from them. In two weeks, we move them to NC.
I have never lived in my hometown without my parents. At this point in life they are my best friends who are our lunch and dinner dates and my mom is my walking partner. They were by our side every moment during our walk with cancer last year, from driving us to appointments in NYC and Boston to be an extra set of ears to helping keep some sense of normalcy for the kids while I was away.
They are incredible people and I will miss them immensely.
Yes, my heart is broken.
BUT...
If I live there, in my broken heart - which I honestly do some moments and days right now - I am so sad and my heart is too heavy.
What I am trying to see is that God didn't stop this from happening and therefore is doing something new, for them and for me.
Something new is growing. I don't know what but am leaning into God to help keep me upright during this time so I can be beside them and help them pack and move, like they have always been beside me.
I share this with you because although this isn't cancer, it is my truth. And you don't need to share your struggle but please remember, just because your struggle may not be cancer, doesn't mean your truth doesn't matter. Your truth matters here. We are here to meet each other where we each are, with an open, loving heart, free from judgement. This is a place to receive encouragement and be filled with hope.
I invite you to join me to...
Pause. Breathe. Pray.
May we all recognize that sometimes we need to break in order for us to grow. Just like a seed, when we are in the pit, God made us with all we ever need within us to grow into what He made us to be. May we use God's love as the sun and His Word as the water that will nourish us and help us grow out of this pit and into that person He made us to be.
I know it is easier said than done but I have found it to be the most beneficial perspective we can take.
With love and hope,
Shawn
P.S. In our Our Struggles Have Purpose book discussion group, we are on Life Lesson 18 today. If you would like to join us, you have time to catch up! We take a break on Sundays to catch up on the reading so you would have the weekend to catch up. They are quick chapters and I have had multiple people say they have read the book in a day, so catching up is definitely possible. It is a lovely group and we'd love for you to be a part of it!
TO JOIN THE DISCUSSION, HERE
AND
TO GET YOUR COPY OF THE BOOK HERE
Kate Date
Last summer I read a book that inspired me to give my daughter a special gift for her birthday. I reached out to 12 special women in Kate's life and asked them if they would each take her on a date, one date a month for the year. They all graciously agreed and she has been having memorable experiences every month on her dates with these special women in her life.
Yesterday afternoon I had a moment when I realized that I never set up a date for me with Kate. Yes, we do little things here and there but I wanted to step out of the mundane and pour a little extra love into my daughter's heart.
So last night I surprised her and took her out for dinner and a movie. It was such a special night being able to be just the two of us. I got to listen to and laugh with my girl.
We saw Mama Mia Here We Go Again and man, the second to last scene cut to my core. I sat there quietly crying next to my daughter, grateful to be there beside her, that cancer wasn't the end of our story and that I get to live this life beside her and do things, like date nights with her and pour love into her heart daily.
One of the takeaways from the movie is this quote I want to plant deep in my daughter's heart, "Do what makes your soul shine." These words have such power to them because how many of us get stuck behind the mundane and responsibilities in life and forget that we have a light to offer and shine into the world?
I invite you to join me to...
Pause. Breathe. Pray.
And may we all absorb the beauty of this quote. May we remember there is a light within each of us we are meant to shine into the world. May we choose to do what makes our soul shine, and encourage others beside us, like our spouses and children, to do the same.
And if you aren't sure of what it is that makes your soul shine, Ken Coleman shares that "where your passion and your skills intersect is your sweet spot." And I believe in that sweet spot is where you will find your soul shining.
Shine bright friend☀️🙏💕
With love and hope,
Shawn
P.S. The book that inspired me was 12 Huge Mistakes Parents Can Avoid by Tim Elmore of Growing Leaders. I took a lot more away from this book than this idea in case you are seeking a powerful read as a parent.
Maybe Our Struggles Do Have Purpose
I was so touched to receive this picture and note from my dear friend Rebecca Lee Haworth. She has a teenager who has been struggling. The fact that her teen had a moment of pause to think that his struggle may have purpose is the WHY behind my writing this book.
I want every heart, young and old, to know that they are not alone. We all struggle with something. And what if our struggles are an actual gift, like a key, waiting to unlock ourselves out of our caged hearts and minds so we can be free to be the person we were made to be - full of purpose, love, compassion, hope and more?!
I would love if you would join me to...
Pause. Breathe. Pray.
May we pray over every struggling heart. May each person see beyond the struggle and into the purpose the struggle carries with it.
May we pray for this teen, and all the teens out there who are struggling. May they move through this season of struggle and thrive in life, uncaged and free to be who they were made to be.
And may the same be true for the rest of us too💕🙏💕
With love and hope,
Shawn
P.S. My friend and her teenager asked to be identified in this post so to help in letting go of the stigma around mental health. I am so grateful for their strength and transparency🙏💕💪💝
The Struggle Is Real
We went out for pizza the other night to celebrate my being cancer free and my youngest drew this pic. I love his beautiful, creative mind💝
The words he wrote rang true to what my heart and mind experienced leading up to hearing there was no evidence of cancer.
You see, on this side of cancer there still is a struggle I experience. Living as a survivor of ACC, I have to walk, like other cancer survivors, with the unknown if the cancer will be back. When I started having new nerve pains and pressure behind my eye, I didn’t want to think the worst, yet having a cancer that travels nerves, I naturally became uncertain if the cancer was back on the other side of my face. And many of you may not know but ACC has cost people in our ACC community their eye, ear, jaw line, etc. I only had to lose my palate. Other ACC survivors walk with a outward physical deformity while I get I walk with an internal one. Yet last week I played the story in my head that maybe I too would have to lose part of my face someday to remain cancer free. Currently that isn’t my story, but I did have a friend who did have to lose her eye this week to be ACC free.
There are cancer survivors that walk beside us in life everyday. Some have lost breasts, eyes, ears, jaws, a lung, palates, legs, arms, skin, thyroid, have had a hysterectomy, etc. And many may not have lost a physical part of themselves but they too lost the security of that little lump or nerve pain as being nothing. The hope of remaining cancer free is there yet the reality that we have to take seriously the possibility of it coming back is real.
I share this with you, not for sympathy or pity, but for us to grow in empathy and compassion for others.
It may not be cancer, maybe it is the fear of a loved one cheating again, taking another drink, getting high one more time, making another bet, etc.
The struggle is real.
Yet I invite you to join me to...
Pause. Breathe. Pray.
May we not live in this fearful place. It is a cloud that hovers over us inhibiting our light to shine forth in our days. May we instead invite God into the equation. May we believe that this struggle is not without purpose but a transformative time to help us grow in faith and love. May we trust that we are slowly unfolding into the person we were made to be through this trying time. And may we grow in empathy and compassion for others whose struggle is real.
With love and hope,
Shawn
Summer Fun
Sometimes all you need is pure summer fun to fuel the soul.☀️🙏💝
NED = No Evidence of Disease!!!
Just got the call...no evidence of cancer🙏💝🎉 didn’t ask what the symptoms may be but right now I don’t care. Just thankful and ready to celebrate with my family💞
Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers💝 Please keep those who received other results in mind every day. We all know someone fighting, let’s turn our love their way now. 💕💕💕
Hugs, love and gratitude to all of you🙏
Life's Detours
Yesterday I was driving with my kids and we hit a detour. As we took the detour we kept going but there were no signs directing us for a while to help guide us along our way.
At first I felt inconvenienced by this detour but after the second detour sign, my kids and I started turning it into an adventure. We weren’t sure where we were or where we’d end up.
At one point one of my kids said, “put on the GPS.” My response? “No, this is what it was like before GPS. We will get there. It may not be the quickest way but it will be an adventure together!”
As we approached this sign - which happened to be the last detour sign - we were laughing. We had “Nowhere to go, nowhere to be.” (Those are lyrics from a Kenny Chesney song I sing a lot to my kids to remind them (and me) to slow down and just enjoy this ride we are in together.) We eventually found our way back to familiar roads and gave thanks for the detour.
I just left my MRI in Boston. As I laid there on the table praying, this detour sign and my experience with my children yesterday played through my head.
Yes, today is a detour and we will not know the next turn right away. My initial response at having an MRI was fear based. Yet now as faith leads me again, I can see that, as we did yesterday, we don’t have to fear this journey but can turn this into an adventure we experience together.
I share this with you in case you too have been taking on a detour. I invite you to join me to...
Pause. Breathe. Pray.
And may we move past the inconvenience of this detour and instead find joy around each turn along the way with those beside us. And I pray that when we find our way back to familiar roads, we can give thanks for this detour we are on🙏
With love and hope,
Shawn
Seek the Sun
I love moments like this. To watch the sun peek through the tall trees and give light to the path on my morning walk.
Right now I have some tall trees in my life, my parents are moving to another state and recently I have had some nerve pain in my face and pressure behind my left eye. I went to the doctor this week and I have to get an MRI next week to rule out a reoccurrence. Once again I find myself walking a new path with an unknown destination. What I find I have to continuously do is talk myself into seeking God in this. He is the sun shining between the trees. His love, care and grace comfort me. He is able to shine light into the darkness, warm the cold places and help me see there is something beyond these obstacles.
Yes, the unknown and uncertainty are there yet I refuse to give them my heart and mind...yet they try to take them frequently. Instead I need to....
Pause. Breathe. Pray.
And lean on the lessons I learned through my walk with cancer. They weren’t just true then, they hold true for any struggle, including my current ones- and yours.
I share this with you in case you too have tall trees that are blocking your view in life. I invite you to join me to...
Pause. Breathe. Pray.
May we seek the sun, aka God, who is shining a light through these trees and into our hearts. May we absorb His love and may it give us peace through this time. And even though our struggles may be different, may we know we never need to walk this path alone.
With love and hope,
Shawn