From Cancer Survivor to Wounded Healer: 9 Years of Faith, Healing, and Hope

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9 years ago today I had much of my palate removed to remove the cancerous tumor. I now use an artificial, removable device called an obturator that helps me speak, drink and eat.

One of the blessings from having this invisible wound is the reminder that I am not alone. Everyone has some form of wound they are walking around with, some are visible and some are invisible. Whatever the wound, every person is worthy to be seen, heard and loved.

I share this today as a reminder that it’s okay to have our wounds, our stories. Yet may those stories never define us, but refine us. And may we not have shame about our wounds and may we even consider that the comfort we received from God in our healing is now something we get to pass along to comfort others who are wounded. As Henri Nouwen so beautifully said,

“When our wounds cease to be a source of shame, and become a source of healing, we have become wounded healers.”

I share this on this cancersary to invite anyone with visible or invisible wounds to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.

May we remember we don’t know everyone’s real story on the inside. Yet rather than meeting people on the surface, may we look to bridge hearts with others, with love. Whether we know each other’s story or not, it doesn’t change the fact that we can meet one another in love.

And for those in the healing process, give yourself the grace and space to heal. And for those who are healed and live with the visible or invisible wounds, may we allow God to use our stories to be a source of comfort, hope and healing to others.

With love and hope,
Shawn

the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. - 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

The Grass Will Grow Back: A Reminder for Parents to Cherish the Moment

Gavin was home from college last weekend and I had been out. I came home to the yard filled with wiffle balls and it made my heart smile to see that the boys had been playing ball together.

I remember years ago when the boys put the bases down around the yard. Now the bases are permanent fixtures in the dirt, we literally mow over them. Also, we have patches of dirt around the pitching mound and our home plate.

The boys used to play wiffle ball for hours together and with friends.

The time in the yard together is naturally fading.

And I know that in time, the grass will grow back, and I’ll eventually pick up the bases.

Yet the memories made in this imperfect, worn yard will last a lifetime.

I share this today for all the parents whose grass is growing back too and for all the young parents whose yards are filled with dirt patches. I invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.

May what things look like on the outside, like our yards, come second to the joy and memories made within our hearts.

May the worn space in our yards and around our houses be the memory marks left from the blessing of time with one another.

For the grass will grow back, and our kids will grow up and one day move out.

May this give us wisdom on how to spend our time with those we love, and gratitude for the worn spaces made together.

With love and hope,
Shawn

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”
- Psalm 90:12

Letting Go as a Parent: Trusting God with Your Children’s Future

As I shared earlier this week, Kate is 20 and it’s wild in many levels. The morning of her birthday I was driving and praying for her year and a song from Mama Mia came to mind with the lyrics, “Slipping through my fingers all the time I try to capture every minute…”

It’s a special song to us yet when I played the lyrics in my head that morning they had completely new meaning.

Kate has never been slipping through my fingers. She has been and always will be in God’s hand, not mine, as are Gavin and Matt. I just have the privilege to be their mom all these years to guide them to Him, who will guide them best towards who He made them to be.

This renewed perspective brought a joy and calm to my soul, and an excitement for what’s to come.

I share this today for other parents who have a hard time letting go. I invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.

May we remember God doesn’t have grandkids, only children. And as much as it’s a gift to to be our kids parents, in the end, we really don’t want them to need us, we want them to lean into Him above all else. May we trust God has them, and He has us too.

With love and hope,
Shawn

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight. - Proverbs 3:5-6

May we Remember Without Reliving It: Healing from Past Trauma

Yesterday I went with a friend to a couple of scans. What I didn’t realize is that going with her, I was going to be going back to the very place I went for scans when I was diagnosed.

As we drove in, I was okay. And as we walked in, I was okay. When we walked down the stairs, I was okay.

I was so grateful that it didn’t trigger my body into fight and flight as other places have through the years.

The night before, I actually had been watching a show, and there was a line in it that really struck me. A character said, “You know you’re better when you can remember without reliving it.”

So I am giving thanks to God for remembering but not reliving the fear and all that went with being in that place.

I share this with you today in case you too at times remember a past traumatic memory and relive it, in your mind or body. I invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.

May we trust it is possible to remember what happened without reliving it. May we remain prayerful to heal in whatever way is needed, so we can be free from the past, as I was fortunate to experience yesterday.

And for those who are waiting results, my heart and prayers are with you as you wait.💕🙏💕

With love and hope,
Shawn

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” - 2 Timothy 1:7

Get Off the Mental Ledge: Renew Your Mind and Find Peace

Kate and I were talking recently and in the conversation she said, “Sometimes we put ourselves on mental ledges we don’t need to be on.” As soon as she said these words, I wrote them down because the power and truth in them was something I wanted to keep.

Because I have definitely put myself on mental ledges I didn’t need to be on.

And I share this today in case you can relate. If so, I invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.

May we regularly examine our thoughts and recognize that not every thought we have is true, right or helpful. May we bring our thoughts to God and pray for a renewal of our minds, by the power of Spirit, so that our thoughts are aligned with His wisdom and truth, so we don’t find ourselves on mental ledges we don’t need to be on, as Kate so wisely reflected the other day.

With care and hope,
Shawn

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
- 2 Corinthians 10:5

Faith in Life’s Trials: Finding Strength and Peace Through Psalms

I have to admit that after a fun weekend with family and friends at a Cycle for Survival event in Boston, I felt a bit solemn yesterday. The fundraiser had been a good distraction from reality, but yesterday I began sitting with the reality of losing a mentor this week, along with some things happening in the lives of loved ones, and in the world.

I have been studying Psalms this year, and I’ve noticed a five-part theme woven throughout them:

- Life will have its trials

- Call out to God in the trials

- Remember His steadfast love and faithfulness

- Trust God, no matter the circumstances

- Give thanks and praise to God

What I love about the principles in the Bible is that they aren’t just for David, Solomon, and the other writers of Psalms, or for the people in the other books of the Bible. These themes and principles are given for us to learn from so that we can put them into practice in our own lives.

The book of Ecclesiastes reminds us that “nothing is new under the sun.” Though the trials then and now may not be exactly the same, life has always had, and will always have, its challenges. Faith can help us through, just as it did those who came before us.

Faith is not the absence of fear, but the choice to turn to God in the midst of it as our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in times of trouble. (Psalm 46:1)

I share this today in case your personal trials, or the trials in the world, are affecting you as they were impacting me yesterday. I invite you to join me to...

pause. breathe. pray.

May we follow the example of those before us and turn to God in our trials. May we remember His steadfast love and faithfulness in our lives and in the lives of others, including those in the Bible. May we trust God, no matter the circumstances, and be prayerful about what may be ours to say or do, beyond prayer, if anything. And may we choose to give thanks to God, not for the circumstances, but for the good that is still present in the day, in spite of them.

As Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl said,

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

May we recognize that space he speaks of and invite God into it, allowing His truth and wisdom to guide us through our trials, just as He has guided so many before us.

With love and hope,
Shawn

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.
In this world you will have trouble. But take heart!
I have overcome the world - John 16:33

Rare Disease Day: Riding for a Cure at Cycle for Survival in Boston

On rare disease day yesterday, it was an honor to ride with this amazing @bravelikegabe team at @cycleforsurvival in Boston! We came together, had fun and raised another $10,000 for rare cancer research to carry on Gabe’s legacy 💙🙏🙌

Small deposits over time add up, and I am praying all these donations add up to a cure one day🙏

Thanks to all who donated!

With gratitude and hope,
Shawn

Look at What You Did Do: A Reminder to Stop Focusing on What You Didn’t Finish

Like most of you, we have been doing a good amount of shoveling recently. The other day Matt and I finished up the shoveling and then I raked the roof, as we had some water damage after the last big storm. I was proud of what Matt and I had accomplished. And then when I went out the next morning I realized that after I raked the roof, I forgot to go back to shovel what I pulled off the roof that landed on our walkway in front of the breezeway doors.

I told Stephen and his reply was what I needed to hear. He said, “Look at what you did do.”

I don’t know about you but I have the tendency to finish my day and can think about what I didn’t get to, rather than what I did accomplish.

Can you relate?

If so, I invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.

Following Stephen’s advice, may we look at what we did get done and not allow what we didn’t get to negate the accomplishments of the day. Most of the time no one ever knows what we didn’t get to except us, and is it really worth our peace to ruminate on it? I’m pretty certain God isn’t shaking His head at us, and neither should we.

With love and hope,
Shawn

Choose the Light: Finding Hope in God During the Dark Days of Winter

I’ve been getting in my head recently. It’s the end of February, and some years this time of the year just gets to me. Winter is a beautiful season, yet like every season, it comes with its challenges.

Tonight I was looking at the stars shining brightly against the dark sky. They reminded me of the verse about how the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

I wholeheartedly believe this, but I don’t always feel it.

Yet I know I can’t allow my feelings to lead me. I need to follow what is true.

I need to keep my eyes and ears focused on the light, no matter how small or dim it may seem. Even a pinhole of light can brighten a dark space.

And God is light.

Jesus is the light of the world.

When I focus on the darkness, it seems to grow.

But when I seek God and look for what is good and remember all there is to be grateful for, the light grows instead.

So I have to ask myself, what am I choosing to focus on, the light or the darkness?

I choose the light, even though some days the darkness feels easier to see.

I share this in case you too find yourself stuck in your thoughts sometimes. If you can relate, I invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.

Let’s ask Spirit to renew our thoughts and choose a new meditation for our minds, such as “Today I am thankful to God for…” And then begin to list the blessings in our lives, big and small. And when our thoughts shift back, as they naturally will, let’s gently redirect them.

By shifting our thoughts, we make room for light to shine and for darkness to lose its hold on our minds. We are not weak for having these moments or days. We are human. But we are not without hope.

May we remember God is the light in our lives so that no matter the season, we continue practicing turning our focus toward Him to lighten our minds, especially in the darker days of February.

With love and hope,
Shawn

PS I do love how it’s staying lighter later and later☀️🙏❄️

Hard Pressed but Not Destroyed: How God Strengthens Us in Difficult Seasons

May today remind us, it isn’t the sunny days that make the trees stronger. It is the days like these when they are tested by the weight of the snow and the wind.

I invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.

May we remember that our tough days aren’t meant to break us, but strengthen us as well, from the inside out.

With love and hope,
Shawn

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed - 2 Corinthians 4:7-9