I Need Help

The other day my son ran into a metal pole and sliced his forehead open. I had four people come beside me to help. They saw the wound and were right there to help, no questions asked. (He is fine now.)

It made me think of how many people would be rushing beside those with anxiety, depression, ptsd, those with suicidal thoughts, etc. if we could see those invisible wounds. 

The thing is we can’t see them so for those who are hurting, we need to speak our truth to someone so we aren’t alone at our lowest points.

I have been there, in that low point thinking it couldn’t get better but I somehow found it in me to tell my husband, parents and sister back in 2009 that I needed help. And am so grateful I did. It was hard as my family made sure I was not alone and made me stay at my sisters with the kids while my husband worked the weekend shift. It was hard to have to lean on others and let people into the hurt but I am forever grateful I found the courage to ask for help.

It is hard but it is worth it. Reach out for help. You don’t need to sit in the pit alone. And if you don’t want to talk to a family member or friend, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Call 1-800-273-8255 or 211.

It is humbling, yet can be that turning point where you can rebuild your life again, from the ground up💕🙏💕

Please join me to...

Pause. Breathe. Pray.

May we find it in ourselves to reach out to get the help we need. May we lean into the hope that it can get better. And may we keep our eyes and ears open to the signs of these invisible wounds and be willing to be proactive to come beside others and lend a hand to help them get out of the pit and into more solid ground.

With love and hope,
Shawn

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Happy Birthday Dad!

“The words you speak to you child becomes their inner voice.” 

Today is my Dad’s birthday and I am celebrating and reflecting on all that he has given me in life...not anything material...but the words and actions he spoke into my heart all these years.

One of his rules was we couldn’t say the word can’t.  He believed we could and be whatever we put our minds to and didn’t want us settling for less than he believed my brother, sisters and I deserved.

He made us listen to inspirational books on tape and now I can’t do laundry without filling my ears with a podcast that will inspire me in some way.

His steno notepads were the death of me as a kid.  He made us write to do lists ALL the time.  Yet I continue to do this daily as an adult.

He made us have family meetings where we came together as a family and talk about things.  I have continued that tradition with my family weekly.

He made us do yard work.  It’s a joke that our childhood was spent weeding and mulching but it did teach us good work ethic.

He was generous with his time with a man from church who has a physical disability and helped him out often and created in me a heart to help those in need.

He set up boundaries for my siblings and me which we didn’t like but now we find ourselves doing the same as parents.

He brought us to the homeless shelter in Hartford throughout our teen years.  Rather than serving the food, he would be found sitting beside the guys talking with them.  We still go to that same shelter as a family and soon I will bring my own kids there to serve.

He always encouraged me when I played basketball and even coached a couple of my teams.  It wasn’t always easy but he pushed me to grow.  He chose to put his time and energy into helping me become a better player.  By being present, he also helped me become a better person because my Dad was beside me, believing in and encouraging me.

When I started writing and speaking, my Dad was there beside me, encouraging me.  He believed in me on this new path in life and helped me believe in myself.

Last year he was beside our family, every step of the way...even driving straight home from his sisters in Alabama when he heard I was diagnosed.  He drove us to appointments from Hartford, to NYC, to Boston.  He showed up for every appointment, was there for my surgery and spent a week with me in Boston for treatment.

I can’t thank God enough for my Dad.  He has been an anchor in my life and I am grateful to celebrate him today💝

Happy Birthday Dad! Thank you for always being there and for all the truth, love, belief and hope you have spoken into my heart💕🙏😘

I share this with you today, to yes, celebrate my Dad, but also to speak into parents heart (even my own) that what we say and do speaks into our children’s hearts everyday.  

I invite you to join me to...

Pause. Breathe. Pray.

May all we say and do, breathe life into their hearts to be the people God made them to be...even if they don’t appreciate it now, trusting they will in time🎁

With love and gratitude,

Shawn

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I am Second

What if as a thank you to everyone we remember on this Memorial Day that gave their life for ours, we chose to follow their lead?

What do I mean?

What if we chose to be selfless today? To put others before ourselves? What if we put ourselves second in line, do what someone else wants to do, put our opinions second, etc?

I invite you to join me to...

Pause. Breathe. Pray.

And let’s choose to honor a life that was lost serving our country by being selfless today. Their sacrifice was the greatest one can make. We don’t need to lose our physical life to make a sacrifice of our own. Let’s choose to live out love today by putting ourselves second.

“No one has a greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for a friends.” - John 15:13

With love, gratitude and respect
Shawn

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Do What Is Best

This time of year seems to pick up speed. Having made the conscious choice not to volunteer this year (so I could get back to day-to-day life) I am seeing how we are pulled in so many directions to do this, go there, get that, etc.

It’s a lot!

So as a person who is sitting on the sidelines watching this game play out I just want to say, you are enough today, just as you are doing nothing more than existing. There are so many good things to choose from that we could be doing with our time. Let’s each lay down what is good and find what is best.  

And it’s important that we learn to love each other there. May we lay down judgement of who is doing what and simply embrace we are all doing what is best. 

I invite you to join me to...

Pause. Breathe. Pray.

Let’s each choose to do what is best. May we love each other beyond the surface of what we see and into each other’s hearts. Let’s not look at what we are or aren’t doing but speak to each other’s hearts and say I love you where you are. Thank you to those who are showing up for themselves today to rest and renew themselves to bring their best self to the world. Thank you to those who are showing up in many ways for many people today, and thank you to everyone in between.

When we can meet each other at our hearts truth and that truth is received with love, the freer we all become to live a more authentic, loving life.

With love and hope💕🙏💕
Shawn

P.S. I am witnessing that society doesn’t give us permission to rest unless we are sick or there is some other good excuse. The reality is sometimes we all just need to renew our mind, body and/or Spirit, without a diagnosis or a validated excuse.

So for those of you who a good rest is best, here I am speaking into your heart and giving the healthy you permission to rest so you can renew yourself from the inside out💕

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There Is No Timeline for Healing

One of my walks the other day went not as expected.

While walking with a friend I had one of my episodes where I got dizzy and couldn’t see or walk straight.  

I have had this happen a number of times now but never with people around besides my family. It was very humbling to have to lean on my friends to help me as I typically will just fly under the radar until it passes.

I share this with you because I am almost a year out and still have setbacks. What people have shared and I am learning to accept is that ...

There is no timeline for healing.

I invite you to join me to...

Pause. Breathe. Pray.

And if you have expectations, like I do, to be farther along in the healing process, from whatever your struggle is, may we surrender to this truth. May we let go of thinking we should be healed and grant ourselves permission to continue to heal, in mind, body, and/or Spirit. May we walk through each day with confident hope of being full restored...someday.

With love and hope,
Shawn

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Inspired By My Daughter

I am inspired by my daughter💝. She is a warrior in her own way. She and her friends came together to raise awareness and over $5000 for Relay for Life. They had a joyful day together walking laps and hanging out with a purpose yesterday. It was beautiful to witness.

A moment that captured my heart is when my daughter and one of her friends, two years in a row now, sat together as they were honored as caregivers. 

They are 12.

On the outside they live every day beside their peers as the 12 years olds they are but yesterday, they got to be honored for the brave, courageous, caring souls they are and how they were caregivers for their moms at such a young age. It breaks my heart but I too see the beauty in their strength, faith, hope and love.

I had a wise woman ask me recently, “have you released your daughter?” She continued saying that I needed to thank her for stepping up and helping around the house and acknowledge all she did, but I too need to tell her I release her from those grown up responsibilities and tell her to go back to being 12.

What a gift those words were to me, and to my daughter🙏

I share this with you today to celebrate my daughter, husband, sons and every caregiver in my life and in yours. May we take a moment to... 

Pause. Breathe. Pray.

And thank them for all they have done, and also tell them we release them from the responsibilities that are no longer theirs and allow them to go back to being who they need to be at this moment in their lives.

With love, gratitude and hope,
Shawn

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Pray and Do

Our hearts break again with those impacted by yesterday’s tragedy. 

May we all...

Pause. Breathe. Pray.

And choose to be part of the change we NEED to see in the world🙏

Today let’s all commit to taking at least one action step to prevent this from happening again. And tomorrow let’s take another, and Monday another....May there not be a day that goes by that we are not proactive in some way to help this not happen again. From loving those beside us and the outcasts around us to supporting gun control let’s vow to DO what is ours to do as though those children were our own.

With love and hope,
Shawn

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Walk Beside One Another

This is my crew. I love them so much but admittedly life doesn’t always look as joyful as our walk was today. I love them so much that our life can be messy.

One of these messy moments was last fall. I didn’t realize it until a couple months post treatment. One day it hit me that the fear of not knowing if the cancer would return and how long I had with my kids gripped my heart. That fear had caused me to be shoving life lessons in my kids ears day and night. Rather than loving them where they were, I ended up imposing my post cancer perspective onto my sweet 11, 10 and 5 year old🤦‍♀️

My dear friend who I shared this with happens to be a chef and said, “so you are feeding them appetizers, main course and dessert all at once?” Yes I was😏

Why was I doing that?

Because I feared I wouldn’t be here to teach them everything they needed to know about life so I invited ... no I didn’t ask them ... I gave them a five-course meal of life everyday for a couple of months😔

The night I realized that I was force feeding them life lessons I went to bed crying, so sad I had been been unintentionally doing that to them. As I wept in bed I was praying and strongly felt God speak into my heart. He told me that I would have enough time to teach my children what is mine to teach them and anything else they need to know, they’ll learn from someone else.

A peace washed over me in that moment. I realized that I am not here to force feed my children life lessons, but to walk beside them where they are in life and invite them to the table beside me to enjoy each bite together along the way.  

It wasn’t easy to see this truth about what I had been doing but once I saw it, I did my best to start meeting them where they are and enjoy the moments I had with them rather than fearing the moments I would miss.

Today was a beautiful day, filled with memories with my crew. Although I may not be a perfect Mom, I am their Mom and I couldn’t be more grateful to walk beside them in life and sit around the table with them everyday💝

I share this with you in case you too have messy moments as a parent. May we see our imperfections as teachable moments, for us, and for our children to learn from. I invite you to join me to...

Pause. Breathe. Pray.

May we know that there is no such thing as a perfect parent. May we each simply do our best, which will look different day to day, and trust that whatever is ours to teach our children, they will learn. The most important thing we can do is walk beside them where they are and invite them to sit at the table of life with us and encourage them to savor every bite along the way.

With love and hope,
Shawn

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Start Living Close to the Edge

Isn’t my mom cute? 😍 This morning we walked in honor of her, and others, who are breast cancer survivors, in memory of those we have lost to this disease, and for those who are currently fighting. 
It was an inspiring morning 💝

If you need inspiration, I invite you to... 

Pause. Breathe. Pray.

And find a cancer walk/run event near you. At events like these, it brings you to the edge of life, but it is there that sometimes is when we truly start living.

I am thankful to have walked with my Mom (aka Nane) this morning 💝 I am celebrating my Mom, and all the Moms out there this weekend. Whether they are here or their memory is in our hearts, all the gifts they have planted in our hearts can never be taken away. 

Happy Mother’s Day to all you Moms out there! Thank you for all you do everyday.💕🙏😘

With love and hope,
Shawn

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Change of Perspective

As I get closer to finishing this book it gets tougher and tougher to stay focused. I have never left my house to write but today I choose to shift to a new space to help me change perspective and refocus.

I share this with you in case you too are a little stuck in some way shape or form. I invite you to join me to...

Pause. Breathe. Pray.

Sometimes it takes a change in scenery to shift our focus and perspective. It helped me today and I hope it helps you too.

With love and hope,
Shawn

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