Who Is Driving Our Life?

This morning  I had a moment of clarity as to the core of my struggle on this side of cancer.

I came out of treatment ready to take on life...and that's just what I did.

I went after life as a wife, mom, writer, etc.

I took God from the driver seat, where I placed him during my journey with cancer, and I placed him in the passenger seat.

I have been waking up and spending time with God every day, yet I have been at the one driving us through our days, with God as my co-pilot.

This morning I am choosing to get out of the driver seat, and place God back behind the wheel and slide my way into the passenger seat again.

Why?

Because I have been unsettled within and I have been uncertain why.  This morning when I realized that I had subconsciously taken the steering wheel back from God, I just knew that was it.

I need to speak less and listen more.

I need to not be so tied to my plans, I don't pay attention to the steps He is asking me to take.

For example, when I sat down to write this morning, a friend called.  Yesterday, I would have sent that call to voicemail and continued doing what I had planned, write.  Yet today instead, I...

Paused. Breathed. Prayed.

And I let go of my plan and picked up the phone.  My friend and I had a lovely conversation and I made dinner while we spoke.  When I hung up the phone I thanked God for showing me that there are times I have been avoiding a gift He has placed in my path because I was too narrowed sighted and focused on doing what I wanted to do.

I know there will be many times I will subconsciously hop back in the drivers seat in life but I am hopeful, with the awareness I received today, that I will remember that the peace I experienced through my journey with cancer was not because I was the driver on the journey.  It was because I moved over and said, "God, I trust you with this journey, and with the outcome.  You lead the way."

That same truth is true with day to day life, as a wife, mom and writer.  

So I transparently come before you today to say, "I trust you God with my journey in life on this side of cancer.  You will give me enough time to do what you need me to do while I am blessed to be here to do it.  Instead of gripping the wheel, I am going to slide over and give it to you again.  I will look out the window and enjoy the view of this beautiful world and the amazing people in it.  May with you at the wheel I receive more joy and peace along this journey."

Have you considered asking yourself...

Who is driving your life?

If you too find that you have put God in the passenger seat - or maybe He's not even in the car - I invite you to...

Pause. Breathe. Pray.

And consider inviting Him into the car and/or into the driver's seat and sliding over into the passengers seat.  I wholeheartedly believe this choice will transform our days, and life. 

With love and hope,

Shawn

"He leads me beside still waters.  He restores my soul.  He leads me along the right paths."           - Psalm 23:2-3

Sign Up To Receive Shawn's Blog and receive the introduction and the first two chapters from her book for FREE

Real Connection

I love to write and share the messages on my heart. Yet there is nothing better than when I come out from behind the computer and share my stories with others in person.  

Yesterday I had a wonderful morning at Storytellers Cottage reading A Place for Sam to a number of children.  Their interest and engagement warmed my heart as they listened to Sam’s message. A couple decided to hop on my lap as I read💝 

Yesterday confirmed something that has been on my heart for a while.

There is no substitute for human connection.

As much as I write and connect with people online, connecting with people in person is fuel for the soul.  Whether it’s a tea date or walk with a friend or I am sharing the messages on my heart at events like yesterday, I need to get out and connect.

The same is true for our children AND for us as adults. We need to connect with others in person, not just through screens.  Whether it's at home, school or at work, let’s get up and connect with one another.  Yes it may not be convenient but it may actually fuel your soul - and which is more important in the long run? Convenience or real connection?

I share this with you today from my own place of needing to make the time for connecting with others in person.

Maybe you can relate?

I invite you to join me to...

Pause. Breathe. Pray.

And let’s choose real connection over convenience. For at the end of the day, and our lives, it won’t be a screen we want to have beside us.

With love and hope,

Shawn

Sign Up To Receive Shawn's Blog and receive the introduction and the first two chapters from her book for FREE

A Worthy Legacy

What wisdom there is in this way of living.

Our children have been born into a 'selfie' generation, by no fault of their own.  We are turning the lens at ourselves more and more these days, and less often turning the lens to look at others.

What's so wrong about that?

Nothing is wrong when it is done to simply capture the moment, yet when it becomes our way of living, focusing only on ourself with disregard to how it may impact others, is where things begin to shift in a negative direction.

The choices we make impact others, from those beside us today to future generations.  Yes, I believe in being in the moment, yet I also believe that the choices we make in the moment are to be thoughtful and considerate of those around us now, and those who will be coming behind us.

I invite you all to join me to...

Pause. Breathe. Pray.

And choose to live out this wisdom in our lives.  May we make choices in our lives, both small and large, that will positively impact others.  May the decisions we make today be a worthy legacy to leave to the generations to come.

With love and hope,

Shawn

"The godly walk with integrity; blessed are their children who come after them." - Proverbs 20:7

Sign Up To Receive Shawn's Blog and receive the introduction and the first two chapters from her book for FREE

A Day of Love and Heartbreak

Yesterday I woke up excited to wish my family Happy Valentine's Day and then last night I tucked my children in holding on to them a little longer.  My heart breaks with the parents who will not have that moment again with their child, or the child with their parent.

I simply can't believe another school shooting happened - again.

There are so many layers to these tragedy's.  And what all these layers reveal to me is that the way we are doing things is backwards.

We put money over people.

We put words over action.

We put tests over character.

We put shame over compassion.

We put selfishness over selflessness.

Our world is upside down and living from the outside in.  Things need to change, from within the walls of our homes to our government's laws and policies.

The questions this leaves me with are...

What is mine to do?  

What can I DO today that can be a part of the changes that are needed?

I wish I had clearly defined answers, for both of us.  If you have ideas, please share them with me.  

As I brainstorm, here are some action steps...

- We need to make time to connect with our loved ones consistently in person and let them know that they matter.

- We need to invite others into our homes that need connection too.

- We need to be an example to our children with our words and actions that violence is NOT an option to resolve conflict.

- We need to step in and stand up for what is right, even when it is hard.

- We need to listen to our children when they speak.  Their truth may seem insignificant to our troubles but it is significant to them and their hearts and voices need a safe place to be heard.

-We need to break free from our comfortable circles and extend the hand of friendship to people different than ourselves.

- We need to judge less and love more.

- We need to demonstrate to our children how to build strong relationships with others - and if we don't know how, we need to humble ourselves and learn for their sake.

- We need to acknowledge our teachers are spread very thin and what is expected of them is superhuman.

- We need to put teaching the whole child at the center of education.

- We need to get programs established in schools (such as the Positivity Project and Growing Leaders)  that connect with children, from the ones who are smiling with depressed hearts to the ones who are given in-school suspension or are expelled, and equip them with life skills that can help transform their life.

-  We need our children to know we care more about their hearts and minds than about their test scores.

- We need to reach out to our lawmakers and demand they make decisions that are in the best interest of the children of our country (not based on who they are funded by) because that is a legacy that is worth leaving behind.

- We need lawmakers who will put people over money, who will stand up for what's right, even if they are standing alone, and who are compassionate and humble enough to see they are part of the problem - and the solution.

- We all need to choose to serve one another above ourselves.

These are some thoughts yet there are so many layers.  I'd love to hear your constructive thoughts.

My hope is that we all take a moment to...

Pause. Breathe. Pray.

May we wrap these families and communities with our love and prayers and then go do what is ours to do, even if it feels like nothing.  As Confucius said, "the man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones."

Let's move one stone at a time and together we will move this mountain so no parent will have to lose their child, or child a parent, this way again.

With love, prayers and hope,

Shawn

Sign Up To Receive Shawn's Blog and receive the introduction and the first two chapters from her book for FREE

Traction In Life

Last week while I was walking along the icy trail with Georgia I had to be mindful of my steps.  After I slipped a few times, I realized that the best path for me to take was to step off the trail and create my own path beside the trail, I had better traction there.

It made me think about this truth in life.  For most of my life I was following the trail where other people were leading me or following other people’s footsteps.  I often found myself slipping and sliding along those paths.  It was when I chose to step off that trail and start establishing my own path in life, that I gained traction in my life and my footing became purposeful and secure.  

I share this in case you, or someone you know, may be on that slippery trail and/or following other people’s steps rather than establishing your own.  

I invite you to join me to...

Pause. Breathe. Pray.

And let’s get off the slippery trail of following other people’s paths in life. Let’s choose to establish our own unique path in life as the people we were made to be, taking steps that are firm and secure.  And although the paths we are in may be different, I am grateful to walk beside you on this trail in life and see who you really are, from the inside out.

With love and hope,

Shawn

"Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure." - Proverbs 4:26

Sign Up To Receive Shawn's Blog and receive the introduction and the first two chapters from her book for FREE

Unplugged and Recharged

This weekend Stephen and I went away to Vermont.  As we drove towards the mountains, the service on our phones became spotty.  Then when we arrived at our destination we realized we would have to go through our weekend unplugged.

Hmmmm...not what we expected but we went with it.

Don't get me wrong, we were headed to the mountains to snowshoe, not to sit on our phones or computers all weekend.  Yet I had planned to finish a couple things while we were there.  

Well, those plans changed.  And I am so grateful they did.

Spending the weekend unplugged from the world was just what I needed.  I needed fresh air, sunshine, Stephen's company, time in nature, some good food and R&R.  Often I found myself...

Pausing. Breathing. Praying.

It was lovely.  It made me think about how the best connections for me are not through texts, email, and social media.  Yes, those are in many ways beneficial and convenient but it really does not fuel me the way in-person connections do.

Being unplugged and tuned into where I was and who I was with is what really recharges my batteries.

I am sharing this in case you too are needing to recharge.  We don't need to go away to a mountain top in Vermont or maybe for you it's to a beach in the Caribbean.  Instead I invite you to join me to...

Pause. Breathe. Pray.

We simply need to create moments of pause throughout our days and put our screens away.  We need to be present where we are and connect with who we are with.  To put this into practice, at some point today lets choose to lay down the phone, or shut off the computer or tv, and just be.  Spend some time alone in silence and take in our surroundings or soak up some quality time with our loved ones  - or even entertain the company of a stranger.  

Wherever we are, lets be there, and choose to make an in-person connection that will truly renew your Spirit.

With love and hope,

Shawn

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." - Romans 12:2

Sign Up To Receive Shawn's Blog

Let Go and Trust God

Last year, the day before I was diagnosed, I was flying home from Nashville with Stephen after an incredible getaway.

I wrote this blog post on our flight home but chose not to post it for some reason.  Little did I know then how much the message I was writing about was something I needed to be rooted in my heart for the whole year through...

My husband surprised me for my birthday with a trip away for a weekend.  We have always wanted to go to Nashville and finally got to!  Stephen knows I get travel anxiety and is hopeful my fear of travel will pass in time...and what better way to get over it than to take me away?! 

This was our weekend away.  The moment our kids drove away with my inlaws I ugly cried.  From there my stomach got tied in knots knowing I had to tackle two flights away from my bubble of comfort to enter other people's bubble in Nashville.

With my heart in my throat I boarded the planes, said my prayers and listened to my favorite music trying to get my mind away from the dis-ease I was experiencing within.

Once we got there I settled into our new space and had a great weekend with Stephen exploring Music City.

I sit and write to you often about my journey to live from the inside out yet I often write to you from my bubble of comfort where I have lived for 34 of my 38 years of life.  Yet today I am writing to you on my travels home from Nashville while 41,000 feet in the air. This is far from my bubble.

As I soar above the clouds right now I see clearly that I have no control over the outcome and my fear of the unknown is bigger than my faith.  I know I have to truly put my life in the hands of others.  I have to have faith in this skills of the engineers who designed the planes, the mechanics who built them and care for them, the air traffic controllers who direct them, pilots who fly them, the stewardesses who are present for our needs on them, and in God's plan.

Sometimes, like right now, I have no choice but to let go and trust God.  Yet is sounds much prettier than what it looks like for me because right now it is a wrestling match in my mind, my stomach is in knots once again and my heart is beating wildly in my throat. No one around me can see the discomfort I am experiencing within.

Yet I know that sometimes I have to do things I don't want to do to unfold into the person I need to be and to grow deeper in relationship with God, and others.

Today I have been...

Pausing. Breathing. Praying.

A lot.  

Having faith doesn't mean I will always be at peace - although I wish it did.  What it does mean is that I believe every experience is an opportunity to grow in faith trusting that no matter the outcome all will be well - in time.

It isn't always pretty but to have made those memories with Stephen this weekend - and our children with their Grandparents - I know is worth it!

This blog post is as significant today as it was last year.  As I move forward, I don't know the outcome, just I like I didn't on my flight.  And although I do not know what the future holds, I know who holds the future, God.  

My practice is to wake up each day and practice letting go and trusting God, with my heart, my health, my family and my future.  It is easier said than done but I know trusting God is what will bring me the peace I am seeking.

I share this with you today in case you too are unsure of an outcome and are feeling uneasy about it.  I offer for you to join me and...

Pause. Breathe. Pray.

May we practice letting go of needing to know and being in control.  May we instead surrender ourselves into the loving hands of God who will carry us through, this day, and everyday...no matter our circumstances, no matter the outcome.

With love and hope,

Shawn

Sign Up To Receive Shawn's Blog

Beautifully Broken

I have written a number of posts to you recently but I have hesitated to hit send.

Why?

Because typically I share with you when I am in a good place and recently I have been in a rough spot.

I wanted to get to the other side before I shared but I know there is healing in sharing your heart with others.  So today I am inviting you into the pit with me.  

This week marks the year anniversary of my diagnosis and I am flooded with memories and emotions.  Leading up to this week I have been experiencing a sadness and I was unsure why.

I am alive and well.  I am home with my family and we are back to life.  How can I be sad?!

In the past couple of weeks I have had some clarity.  I realize I have felt ashamed at the way I feel.  Before you start thinking of what you want to say to that, please hear me out.  

Having walked so closely to the edge of life and having received such peace within me in the process, I questioned how deep my faith was if I was in a funk like this.  I want to walk the walk, not talk the talk and I was unsure if I was walking the walk beside you anymore.

But then, last week, while I attended a funeral, I heard the pastor say, "grief and sadness are not a lack of faith in God, they are emotions you need to move through because you have experienced a loss."

And there was my answer.  This wasn't a lack of faith I had been experiencing.  I have been grieving and didn't know that I was.  

I have been grieving the old me and how life was before cancer entered our life.   I have been grieving how close I felt to God during my time in treatment and how I went from a convent to Grand Central Station spiritually.  I spend time with God every day yet there are so many more distractions now that it is harder to hear him over the echoing of the voices and the coming and going of trains around me.

I have been grieving the loss of what was.  

I know in my heart that God has a new path for me and this is a stepping stone for me to get there. I need to sit here and grieve, feeling the sadness as I let go of what was so I can wholeheartedly move forward.

I am not sure how long this process will take.  I hope it will pass quickly but it is where I am today.  And I share it with you because I know someone else is in this space too and when you're in it, it is a lonely place and I just want them to know, you are not alone.

We can be beautifully broken together, though apart.

May we trust that the light we are meant to shine will shine brighter when we stop trying to hold ourselves together and let it shine through our broken places.

With love and hope,

Shawn

"God is close to the brokenhearted." - Psalm 34:18

Sign Up To Receive Shawn's Blog

My Snow Day Truth

We had a snow day here yesterday❄️ I realize I don’t take pictures when we are all being lazy or when we are having ... hmmmm 🤔 ... we will call them “moments” in our home. Those were a part of our day. I guess I capture moments more like this one, aka the highlights.

I share this with you because the last snow day we had was a day I was having trouble showing up for myself, let alone my kids.  It was a very lazy day and when I hopped on social media I saw all the things people did with their kids and places people went. That snow day the three places our kids went were to the couch, the kitchen table and to bed. If that was you yesterday I invite you to... 

Pause. Breathe. Pray.

And please know you are normal and not alone. There are others out there, like me, who have unpinteresting days too.

We are all doing our best, moment-by-moment, day-by-day. Yesterday’s snow day was a little more eventful than the last one. I was tempted to share my pictures but realized there was someone out there who was feeling the way I was the last snow day. I share this one picture now only to come beside you and share with you this message.

Whether we gave our kids the laziest day of their life, the most exciting adventure or something in between, we need to remember they are learning from every experience we give them, even the boring ones. And the bottom line is the most important thing we need to give them any day is our love💕

With love and hope,
Shawn

Sign Up To Receive Shawn's Blog

Thank You Martin Luther King, Jr.

A little video at breakfast this morning to remind my children why they are off from school today and to show them an example a person who dedicated their life to helping others. Thank you Martin Luther King, Jr. for standing up for what is right, even though it was hard.

I invite you to join me and...

Pause. Breathe. Pray.

May we allow his example to inspire us to live a life of lifting others up (and not pushing others down to raise ourselves up).

With gratitude and hope,
Shawn

Sign Up To Receive Shawn's Blog