This morning I had a moment of clarity as to the core of my struggle on this side of cancer.
I came out of treatment ready to take on life...and that's just what I did.
I went after life as a wife, mom, writer, etc.
I took God from the driver seat, where I placed him during my journey with cancer, and I placed him in the passenger seat.
I have been waking up and spending time with God every day, yet I have been at the one driving us through our days, with God as my co-pilot.
This morning I am choosing to get out of the driver seat, and place God back behind the wheel and slide my way into the passenger seat again.
Because I have been unsettled within and I have been uncertain why. This morning when I realized that I had subconsciously taken the steering wheel back from God, I just knew that was it.
I need to speak less and listen more.
I need to not be so tied to my plans, I don't pay attention to the steps He is asking me to take.
For example, when I sat down to write this morning, a friend called. Yesterday, I would have sent that call to voicemail and continued doing what I had planned, write. Yet today instead, I...
Paused. Breathed. Prayed.
And I let go of my plan and picked up the phone. My friend and I had a lovely conversation and I made dinner while we spoke. When I hung up the phone I thanked God for showing me that there are times I have been avoiding a gift He has placed in my path because I was too narrowed sighted and focused on doing what I wanted to do.
I know there will be many times I will subconsciously hop back in the drivers seat in life but I am hopeful, with the awareness I received today, that I will remember that the peace I experienced through my journey with cancer was not because I was the driver on the journey. It was because I moved over and said, "God, I trust you with this journey, and with the outcome. You lead the way."
That same truth is true with day to day life, as a wife, mom and writer.
So I transparently come before you today to say, "I trust you God with my journey in life on this side of cancer. You will give me enough time to do what you need me to do while I am blessed to be here to do it. Instead of gripping the wheel, I am going to slide over and give it to you again. I will look out the window and enjoy the view of this beautiful world and the amazing people in it. May with you at the wheel I receive more joy and peace along this journey."
Have you considered asking yourself...
Who is driving your life?
If you too find that you have put God in the passenger seat - or maybe He's not even in the car - I invite you to...
Pause. Breathe. Pray.
And consider inviting Him into the car and/or into the driver's seat and sliding over into the passengers seat. I wholeheartedly believe this choice will transform our days, and life.
With love and hope,
"He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me along the right paths." - Psalm 23:2-3