Scared of flying? I get it...

I have dealt with flying anxiety for decades.

Choosing to say yes to do a marathon in Germany was a choice that involved conquering layers of fears, including my fear of flying.

Last year, I had a paralyzing panic attack before a flight home from Nashville after visiting Kate’s school. I told Stephen to rent a car that I couldn’t fly home. In his calm way, he listened and helped me through it, and we flew home.

After that flight, knowing that going to see Kate at school would require me to fly, I have been praying for relief from my anxiety.

The next flight I took was with Kate, who would fly around the world if she had the chance. I asked her to talk me through her travel experience so I could hear her joyful point of view.

Listening to her was like a light shining into darkness. She truly had joy every step of the way.

I’ve prayed so many prayers over this. And for decades I’ve had no relief. I know God hears me but his timing isn’t always our timing.

I’ve continued to pray for relief and also for a shift in my thoughts and my perspective. I have started a new inner dialogue that is scripture-based and singing a song to myself by Jeremy Camp, “ Out of My Hands,” as I take off. The lyrics are a reminder that my life is really in God’s hands, no matter where I am.

I’ll own it. It’s cheesy. Yet my two flights to Germany were my 6th and 7th flights without anxiety. I even had dinner before I flew, which is wild because I usually wouldn’t eat the day of the flight and even lose my appetite the day before. And on my second flight here, I fell asleep before take-off!

I share this with you because I am not the only one who has a fear of things like flying. If you can relate, I invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.

Let’s look to see who has joy where we have fear and consider sharing our fear with them. Let’s invite them to share their perspective with us as well. And may we continue to pray to be released of the fear, and in the wait, rather ruminating on the fear, let’s practice meditating on words, like that song, that remind us that God has us in His hands and is in charge of the outcome of our lives. And in time, I pray we all find rest in our souls as we trust in that truth.

With love and hope,

Shawn

“Be strong and courageous to not fear or be dismayed for the Lord is with you wherever you go.” - Joshua 1:9

Walk the Talk

One week from today Jen, Kylee and I will run the race before us, the marathon in Berlin, Germany for Brave Like Gabe to fund rare cancer research.

This is so much more than running a race. Yes, it’s about raising funds so that one day we will have a cure for ACC, Adenoid cystic carcinoma.

But for me, this is also about a being a mom living out principles I have taught my kids.

Through the years I have told Kate, Gavin and Matty things like:

- growth is often found outside your comfort zone
- small deposits over time add up
- when you meet a pain point find solutions, don’t make excuses
- let your struggles refine you not define you
- talk to yourself like you would your best friend
- be a part of the change you want to see
- No discipline is pleasant while it’s happening but in the end is worth it
- Short term suffering often leads to long term freedom
- be willing to serve others, even if it costs you something
- pray
- live for an audience of one, God

…and more.

I say these but the questions I am left with are:

Am I willing to put these same principles into practice in my life?

Am I willing to walk the talk?

This marathon training leaves me no choice but to put these principles into practice, and I thank God for that.

I will never be a perfect parent yet I will always aim to live out the principles that I encourage our kids to. And when I fall short, I will own it, because that is something that will benefit them to do too.

I pray that by running this race, my kids see more than their mom running a race. I pray they see these principles in practice to get me to the starting line, and prayerfully the finish line, so that they can be encouraged in this marathon of life to take these truths and put them into practice themselves.

With love and hope,
Shawn

PS To donate to our team’s fundraiser, please visit the link in my bio💙🙏💙

“And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus,the pioneer and perfecter of faith.” Hebrews 12:1-2

Pause. Breathe. Pray.

No better way to start - or live - our days💕🙏☀️

This morning in my prayer time I was reminded that trials of any kind are an opportunity to refine us, and our faith. It’s understandable when things happen to us or others that we would question God - or even if there is God. Yet time after time when I am tried, from small trials to bigger ones, I am reminded that being in prayer with God is the one thing that brings me the comfort, peace and wisdom I seek. Those doesn’t stay forever, and honestly I can leave my prayer time and in two minutes I am uprooted again from the grounding love of God, His Word and His truth. That’s why this practice is that, a practice. A moment by moment, day by day practice to pause my natural reactions, breathe myself into the present moment, and pray, inviting God in to help me.

I share this today in case you too need to bring calm into the storms of your thoughts or life. I invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.

May we put these three words into practice over and over and over again to help us be rooted in God’s love and truth instead of the unsettling thoughts or trials we find ourselves, or others, in.

With love and hope,
Shawn

Thank you + A Reminder

Frankie and I wanted to say thank you for your prayers, love and encouragement. Also, thank you to all who shared your shingles and messy mind stories with me. It’s refreshing to connect with people beneath the surface and be real with one another.

This was a reminder to me that everyone is dealing with something and that there is someone else dealing with, or who has dealt with, the same thing.

With that said, I invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.

Let’s remember it’s a strength not a weakness to reach out and let others in. May we grow stronger within, and in community, by being real with one another and remember we are never alone. God is always with us and he puts others beside us to help us through.

With gratitude and hope,

Shawn

A Messy Mind + Scriptures to Pray

Yesterday my mind felt messy in a way it hadn’t in a long time.

I unexpectedly found out I have shingles. I’m not sharing this for sympathy, but to shed light on how hard it can be to keep our thoughts rooted in truth and above life’s waves sometimes.

The other day, I woke up with swollen lymph nodes around my left ear. Having had salivary gland cancer, it’s hard not to cycle through the “Is the cancer back?” thoughts. Fearful ideas started taking root in my mind, and I was having trouble not running away with those stories, especially when they had to check to see if the shingles had spread to my optic nerve (thankfully, it hadn’t).

ACC travels along nerves.
Yes, there’s no logical correlation between shingles and ACC, but I wasn’t thinking from a grounded or rational place. My thoughts were rooted in worry and fear of the unknown.

And not even fear of cancer, really. I moved past that eventually. But I started fearing how this would impact things I have planned, like my training for the marathon coming up in a couple of weeks.

My thoughts were running away on an emotional train, allowing the stories I was creating and the emotions they bring with them, making my mind messy.

And yesterday, that’s exactly where I was. Messy minded and it was unsettling.

What I’ve learned over time is that I need to ground myself back in what is true. Yes, God gave us emotions, but they aren’t meant to lead our thoughts. His truth is. So I spent some time rooting myself in that truth - again.

I prayed over my mind, asking God to take every unproductive thought captive and root my thinking in what is true.

I prayed for eyes to see my stories as just that - stories. I needed to rewind my mind to the present moment and take this experience one step at a time.

I prayed over my heart, too, because it felt messy.

How did I know?

Because from the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks, and mine was speaking fearful words and I was irritable.

So I prayed for a clean heart. For God to pour His love into me and cleanse me from the inside out, so that my heart would no longer be rooted in fear, frustration, or worry, but in love and truth.

By the time I went to bed last night, I had greater peace in my mind, heart, and soul, even though my head and eye were still very uncomfortable from the shingles.

I share this in case you, too, have messy thoughts and struggle to sift through the fear, stories, and worries, just like I did yesterday.

I invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.

Let’s remember it’s okay to not be okay. May we reach out to people who will hear our messy hearts and meet us with love and not judgment. May we turn to God, using His Word as an internal cleanse to help us live from a place of truth rather than from our stories, emotions and fear. When we do this, we will experience greater peace in mind, heart, and soul, like thankfully I am experiencing today.

With love and hope,
Shawn

An Unexpected Act of Love

Today I was running on the trails and a man on a bike stopped to let me know that there was a mama bear and three cubs on the trail in the direction I was heading. I thanked him and continued on.

Further ahead I asked a biker, coming from the direction of the bears, if she has seen them so I could gauge how far away I was.

She hadn’t seen them and we both continued on in our separate directions.

The next thing I knew, the woman on the bike was next to me heading in the same direction as me. She came back to be sure I passed by the bears safely.

I was so touched by the is simple yet profound act of love.

She knew nothing about me except that I may be unsafe and chose to reroute from her path to be sure I was safe.

This is what loving your neighbor looks like and sounds like.

I don’t know her name yet this thoughtful moment will stay with me and inspire me to seek where I can be love in action.

I share this with you today to invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.

May we be inspired by this woman and seek to live our neighbors today, even if it redirects us from our path. This is how God calls us to live, so may we be a reflection of that love to others, like this woman was to me today on the trials.

With gratitude and hope,
Shawn


Love your neighbor as yourself
- Mark 12:31

First day of School for Matt + Prayer

Happy first day of 8th grade to Matt, and to all your kids who went back to school today!

I pray our kids are themselves and make strong connections. May they seek the good in each day and use their words to build others up (including themselves). Also, may they never allow a struggle to define them but instead allow it to refine them. And above all, may they know their true worth is already determined💕🙏💕

With love and hope,
Shawn

Beneath the Surface Moments

Kate took this picture with my mom and in that moment I realized how different drop off could have been for Kate.

Many of you know my mom was diagnosed with triple-negative breast cancer two years before I was diagnosed with ACC. In this moment, I thought about how grateful I was we got to be there with her to do this all together, and how the day would have been so different for Kate had my mom and I not been here.

I am sharing this to shine a light on a beneath the surface reality for many cancer survivors. Moments that you get to be doing things, like college drop-off, are moments you prayed to be present for. And there is an overwhelming sense of gratitude to God for the gift of healing and more time beside our loved ones.

In the same breath, I know this isn’t everyone’s story. And my heart is with those parents who no longer have a child to drop off, and with the students whose parent is no longer with us.

I share this today to invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.

May we open our eyes to these two beneath the surface realities. Let’s give thanks for those who are present and able to share these change of season moments with their loved ones. And may we also be mindful of, and pray for, those who are changing seasons without loved ones.

By looking beneath the surface, may we gain a deeper perspective of who and what really matter in these moments, like Kate did in this moment with my Mom.

With love and hope,
Shawn

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