I have dealt with flying anxiety for decades.
Choosing to say yes to do a marathon in Germany was a choice that involved conquering layers of fears, including my fear of flying.
Last year, I had a paralyzing panic attack before a flight home from Nashville after visiting Kate’s school. I told Stephen to rent a car that I couldn’t fly home. In his calm way, he listened and helped me through it, and we flew home.
After that flight, knowing that going to see Kate at school would require me to fly, I have been praying for relief from my anxiety.
The next flight I took was with Kate, who would fly around the world if she had the chance. I asked her to talk me through her travel experience so I could hear her joyful point of view.
Listening to her was like a light shining into darkness. She truly had joy every step of the way.
I’ve prayed so many prayers over this. And for decades I’ve had no relief. I know God hears me but his timing isn’t always our timing.
I’ve continued to pray for relief and also for a shift in my thoughts and my perspective. I have started a new inner dialogue that is scripture-based and singing a song to myself by Jeremy Camp, “ Out of My Hands,” as I take off. The lyrics are a reminder that my life is really in God’s hands, no matter where I am.
I’ll own it. It’s cheesy. Yet my two flights to Germany were my 6th and 7th flights without anxiety. I even had dinner before I flew, which is wild because I usually wouldn’t eat the day of the flight and even lose my appetite the day before. And on my second flight here, I fell asleep before take-off!
I share this with you because I am not the only one who has a fear of things like flying. If you can relate, I invite you to join me to…
pause. breathe. pray.
Let’s look to see who has joy where we have fear and consider sharing our fear with them. Let’s invite them to share their perspective with us as well. And may we continue to pray to be released of the fear, and in the wait, rather ruminating on the fear, let’s practice meditating on words, like that song, that remind us that God has us in His hands and is in charge of the outcome of our lives. And in time, I pray we all find rest in our souls as we trust in that truth.
With love and hope,
Shawn
“Be strong and courageous to not fear or be dismayed for the Lord is with you wherever you go.” - Joshua 1:9