What Have We Learned from Listening, So Far?

“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” - 1 John 4:7-8

This week I have started listening by having conversations with friends who are African American, & with friends who have children who are African American.

A few things I have learned so far include,

When my child walks out of the house with hoody & a flat brimmed hat on I think nothing of it. Yet my friend finds herself needing to be cautious of her child wearing a hoody, & other clothing.

When I want to get a coffee at a drive thru, I have never thought twice about getting pulled over for doing so. Yet a friend’s family was pulled over at a drive thru for no apparent reason & asked, “what are you doing here?” & has had to think twice about it.

Two friends each have kids who are African American. They have lived in the same community and have had different experiences. The child who has lighter skin hasn’t experienced any racism, where the other child with darker skin has. Is this a unique experience or a norm?

While I am raising my kids in the bubble of suburbia, I try often to pop the bubble to help them see realities beyond it. Yet what I show them are often struggles that will not be part of their personal experience. Where my friend is choosing to keep his kids in the bubble until it has to be popped; to protect them from a reality that may be a part of their experience.

When I have walked through life, I haven’t had to experience changing my hairstyle, clothing or the style within my home to be more accepted by my community at large, as my friend has.

What I have learned is....
these conversations took too long to happen & that I have a lot more to learn.

I share this with you today to invite you to join me to...

pause. breathe. pray.

Please continue to share your stories &/or continue to listen and ask questions to help us learn & grow.

May we ask God to show us how we can be an extension of His true character & love to others, and what is ours to say & do to be part of the lasting change we need to see.

With love & hope,
Shawn

PS Feel free to share your stories and/or what you have learned from listening too.

“Be quick to listen and slow to speak...” - James 1:19

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God is Love, Not Law

“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” - 1 John 4:7-8

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May We Offer A Listening Ear

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May We Choose to Take On The Pain of Others

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Dont' Pass the Anger

A couple of years ago I received a call home from my child’s teacher saying that he, and other classmates, had made poor choices in class that day.

When our child arrived home that day I sat beside him and asked him what happened.

He replied very matter of factly, “There was a classmate who was angry and he passed the anger to the kid next to him by pushing him. Then that boy passed the anger to the next kid by stomping on his foot and then that person passed the anger to me. Then it was my turn to pass along the anger.” His response made me pause.

Pass along the anger?

I do not condone my child’s choices that day, yet his response made me see that this isn’t just something that happens in his classroom with his classmates. This is something we do as adults.

I am sharing this with you today to invite you to join me to...

pause. breathe. pray.

May we recognize it is okay to be angry, yet what we do with our anger matters. May we know our initial reaction most likely is not the most beneficial one to respond with. May we create space to use our anger productively; to guide us to what is right, just and towards restoration.

And like I shared with my son that day, may we do our best to let anger that comes our way stop with us, as hard as that might be, so we don’t pass the anger onto others in a destructive way.

With love and hope,
Shawn

“Seek justice, love mercy and walk humbly with our God.” - Micah 6:8

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Live Beyond Ourselves

May we choose to live beyond ourselves in our lives, as they did in theirs.

With gratitude and respect,
Shawn

“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends.” - John 15:13

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A Renewed View

One of our children randomly asked Alexa how many days it’s been since the day this quarantine started for us.

“64.”

As our child stood there, shocked at the number of days they’ve been home, Stephen’s days in the Navy crossed my mind. I was curious about the number of days in a row he had been out to sea on the submarine before surfacing, so I asked him.

He replied, “62.”

Then he added, “At least through this we have windows, the sun and fresh air.”

His words made me pause.

Windows.

The sun.

Fresh air.

Yep, these three things I realized I have been taking for granted.

I share this with you today in case you too have not paused to think about these three blessings we have in the midst of this quarantine.

I invite you to join me to...

pause. breathe. pray.

There are many things we don’t have right now yet staying focused on those does not benefit us. Instead, may we open our eyes to see, and give thanks for, what we do have during this time; even the simple blessings of windows, the sun and fresh air.

Also, may we be willing to open our ears to hear someone else’s perspective. Sometimes that may be what we need to help give us a renewed lens to look through in our current circumstances💕🙏💕

With love and hope,
Shawn

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God.” - Romans 12:2

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As We Are Beside Them, He Is Beside Us

As a Mom, I want my kids to know that I am here to walk beside them along the plateaus, through the valleys and to the mountain top views.

Sometimes I forget that God is saying the same thing to me every day.

I share this with you today in case you also needed that reminder. I invite you to join me to...

pause. breathe. pray.

May we open our eyes to the truth that we don’t need to go at this day alone. May we remember God is beside us, offering His presence and love our way, just as we do to our children. And may we also remember that God isn’t just walking beside us, He is walking beside our children too.💕🙏💕

With love and hope,
Shawn

“For we walk by faith, not by sight.”
- 2 Corinthians 5:7

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Be Rich In Love

This picture perfectly describes her love.

Her love is so big, so wide, and so rich, it is felt so deeply. “We are rich in love,” are words she said to us as kids that continue on as I now share the same truth with our kids.

Her deep faith and authentic love inspire me.

I know we don’t all get to be with our Moms, or children, today for various reasons.
Yet may the richness of the love we share bridge our hearts, no matter the distance.

Happy Mother’s Day to my sweet Mom, and to all you Moms out there.
Thank you for the love you share everyday. 💕🙏💐 

With gratitude and love,
Shawn

“Her children rise up and call her happy, her husband too, and he praises her. Many women have done excellently but you surpass them all.” - Proverbs 31: 28-29

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Look at the Heart

May we always look first into the heart of one another.💕🙏💕

With love and hope,
Shawn

“God does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart.” - 1 Samuel 16:7

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