Triggers are Real

As I sat waiting for my results yesterday I heard the doctor in the hall say, “it isn’t ACC (that is the cancer I had) but I don’t know what it is.”

As soon as I heard that my mind went to the worst case scenario…the cancer is back.

I sat there trying to pray, shift my thoughts, but anxiety gripped me and I had to use the restroom. As I walked out the door I happened to see the computer screen with a scan on it and my name was on the screen.

I was certain I was going to be hearing bad news.

After being prayed over that morning, having a peaceful time in the MRI and with my mom in Boston Common, my mind was gripped by fear and I couldn’t find a way out of it.

I asked one of the nurses to come in and she was trying to help me calm my nerves saying things like…

try and relax your body.

breathe.

what you are thinking may not be true.

wait and the doctor will clarify.

I know what she was saying would be helpful yet I was struggling to put those into practice in that moment. And for most of the day I was able to practice these things but in this 20 minute period, I knew what I had to do but the fear of hearing the cancer is back gripped me.

Yes, I should have….

paused. breathed. prayed.

But all logical and rational thinking went out the window and I was gripped by fear. I just needed concrete information so that my brain wouldn’t continue on the loop of thoughts, that I didn’t now if they were true or not.

Eventually the doctor came in and shared that my scans were good!

The relief that rushed through me formed tears of gratitude that flowed down my cheeks.

I share this with you today because I am triggered at times and I am not immune to fear gripping me. This was a reminder that working on new healthy thought patterns in the calm will help me in the storm yet when you are in a negative thought cycle it is not a flip of the switch to get out of it.

If you can relate, please know you are not alone. I invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.™

May we have grace for ourselves for when we are triggered and can’t get out of these hard moments and negative thought loop. May we trust that God is with us, even if we aren’t practicing His Word and that we are still loved as messy as we are. May we be willing to invite others into our messy, like I did with the nurse, so that we don’t sit in the heavy and hard alone.

And when we remember to, like I did after I got the news of clear scans, let’s fix our eyes back on God knowing we are like the prodigal son who went away for a while but He is welcoming us back with open arms, meeting us where we are with love and compassion.

With love and hope,
Shawn

“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him."- Luke 15:20

Where We Put Our Focus Matters

My mom came with me to Boston for the day. We had some time between my scans and the doctors appointments so I always love taking a stroll around Boston Common. While we were there we took a seat on a bench and just sat in silence enjoying the view. At one point my Mom said, “this is so lovely, but all this traffic behind us is distracting.” I sat and realized I hadn’t noticed the noise of the traffic and said, “I guess it matters where we put out attention.”

In this particular moment the words I said were potent to my heart because as I waited to learn about my scans, I realized I had a choice to focus on the ‘traffic noise’ of fear of the unknown, or to give my focus to the present moment with my Mom in this beautiful place. Thankfully, the latter was where I was able to put my focus.

If you too have trouble at times putting your focus on what will bring you peace, I get it as I am imperfect at this practice myself. I invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.™

Let’s be sure we don’t dismiss the ‘noise,’ let us acknowledge it and choose not to give it our focus. Instead let’s turn our attention to something that will help us. For example, on the park bench yesterday I acknowledged the presence of the unknown and fear of the cancer returning, but I recognized focusing on that was not helpful. So instead I chose to turn my attention to my mom, the leaves, the trees, the flowers, and absorb what was known in front of me, and I pray you can do the same.

Did my mind stray? Of course. I am human.

So I chose again…and again… to acknowledge the ‘noise’ of fear and then turned away from it. And in time I stopped thinking about the fear and was able to be fully present in the moment. And I pray the same happens for you too.

With love and hope,
Shawn

“No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it."- 1 Corinthians 10:13

An Unexpected Blessing

On the way to Boston yesterday I was at this corner, and I’ve been stuck here in traffic almost every time I’ve traveled to Boston the past seven years. There are always men at this corner collecting money for people who are homeless.

Yesterday I had nothing to offer but I still looked at the man and smiled, praying lovingkindness over him in my heart. He smiled back and walked on.

A couple minutes later he was at the passenger window at my car knocking.

I rolled down the window and He said, “you smiled at me so I know that God is with you.” He proceeded to pray for me, having no idea I was headed to Boston for scans. He prayed that “the battle was God’s and He has me covered.” He prayed for a few minutes, and then continued on, never asking for a dime from me. He simply knocked at my window to pray for me.

His part toothless grin was beautiful to me, as I too lost three teeth from my surgery, and the words he spoke were a guarding for my soul. In all my years passing through here, I never knew these men to be men of faith, or had an interaction like this. This divine appointment with this man was a blessing from God as I drove in to have my scans.

I share this with you today because God is with us at all times, and sometimes He places people along our path to share His love and Truth with us. I am not sure where you are headed today but wherever it is, I invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.™

Let’s be sure we keep our eyes and ears open to the love and Truth God has put along our path. And as this moment yesterday reminded me, even a smile can be a bridge from one heart to another that can open a door for God’s love to flow through. God uses all people and so may we not turn away from other based on our preconceived notions for if we do we may miss a blessing God has for us. And may we remember it isn’t just about us, but that we may the person God will use on someone else’s path too. Let’s be willing to be courageous, as this man was yesterday, and bless someone else when we feel prompted by Spirit to.

With love and hope,
Shawn

This is my commandment, that you love one another, as I have loved you."- John 15:12

A Messy Mom Moment + My Kids Reflection

On Friday I had a day. I was irritable and doing what I could to not let the discontent in my heart overflow onto my family.

But it did.

I owned my irritability and let my kids know it wasn’t them, and asked for their patience with me as worked through it.

Later that night Matt walked through the kitchen and said, “Mom, think of things above, not of earthly things.” He smiled and walked down to the basement.

Ugh. Those words hit me like a brick- but in good way.

I’ve shared this verse with the family through the years yet to have Matt reflect it back to me on that day was humbling, and a gift. I was hyperfocusing on something that is out of my control. Matt’s words were a reflection to take my eyes off of what is out of my control and to look to God to help me through.

I share this today because as a Mom I have messy days and sometimes I don’t know if the seeds I plant in my kids hearts are growing roots. But in this moment, I was reminded that it’s okay for my kids to see me have a rough day and that they are listening.

So for all the parents out there, I invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.™

May we give ourselves grace and space on those messy days. May we also continue to plant seeds of truth into our kids hearts and trust they are growing. And in time, may the seeds planted help our kids when they need it, and maybe our kids will be reflecting those truths back to us when we need it, like Matt did with me on Friday.

With love and hope,
Shawn

Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. - Colossians 3:2

Fun Friday!

Happy Friday! Once every spring we surprise Stephen with a water ballon fight when he gets home from work, and today is the day💦

I’m sharing this as a reminder to…

pause. breathe. pray.™

And play!

Let’s unplug from socials for the weekend and go live life offline. Let’s have some pure-hearted fun making new memories- and maybe new traditions - with our family and friends💝🙏☀️

With love and hope,
Shawn

“A glad heart makes a cheerful face”

- Proverbs 15:13a

Find the Common Thread

Recently I was behind a car that was decorated with a lot of bumper stickers. This person is definitely passionate about his point of view on certain topics. I was looking at each bumper sticker and then saw one that was of submarine dolphins, which made me think of Stephen who was in the Navy on a submarine while we dated. Seeing this intrigued me. I did not agree with everything on the back of this person’s car, yet this sticker was a common thread I had with this person.

I share this with you today because it reminded me of the importance of making connections with others.

We won’t agree with everyone about everything, yet that doesn’t mean we can’t connect with one another in some way.

I invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.™

It’s okay that we have differences but let’s not allow that to define our relationships with others. Instead let’s seek the common thread that can bridge us together so that we live more connected than divided.

With love and hope,
Shawn

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.
- Mark 12:30-31

The Joy in Giving

My kids say there are two sides of me, I am 8 or 88. I’m either having a dance party and ready to play games or I’m all serious talking about things like the purpose of life. I think it’s a healthy balance yet I haven’t let you in much to the playful side of me, for no reason other than I’m in the habit of sharing what I write - which is more the 88 year old me😊

So I thought I’d share some fun and how I’ve been spending my mornings last week and this week…

I’ve been starting my mornings “flocking” seniors as they head towards graduation and I am having so much fun doing this! I get to drop off the flamingos, I say a little prayer in my head over the senior and their family wishing them all well, and I move on to the next person. I’ve been getting up earlier yet am full of energy each day. Spending the start of my day living out love by dropping off the flamingos just knowing they will make some of the seniors smile, makes my heart smile.

I love to have fun and live out love, yet often day to day life and circumstances can put a cloud over having fun. Personally I can get focused on the mundane things or challenges I forget to look up and out to live out love towards others.

The past couple of weeks have been a reminder to me that joy is accessible daily, and we will experience it more when we live aligned with our greater purpose, loving God and loving others- even in the form of flamingos.

I share this with you today in case would like to experience a little more joy within. I invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.™

Let’s choose to start our day spending time with God and living out love towards someone. For example, we can leave a note for a family member to read when they wake up, drop off a card to a friend, visit an elderly neighbor, bring in pastries for our co-workers, etc. Let’s look for ways to make someone else’s heart smile, for when we do, we often find our own heart smiling as well, having received nothing ourselves except the joy from giving - like I have while flocking the seniors🦩

With love and hope,
Shawn

“Rejoice always,  pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances;

for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
- 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

There is a Last Time for Everything

Last week I went on a field trip with Matt’s class. As I drove there, it dawned on me that this is likely the last field trip I get to volunteer for as next year he will be in Middle School.

Three kids and all the fun times as a room mom, chaperone for fields trips, etc. It is crazy how quickly it all passes.

I was grateful for the awareness as I drove there. It was a cold and rainy day and I could have complained about that but instead I shifted my thoughts to gratitude for being present and aware of this moment with Matt and his friends.

With Kate leaving in a few months for college, and Gavin heading out next year, I am growing in awareness of these “last” moments, opportunities and traditions I have beside my kids. Through the years you just get use to what you do with your kids, you don’t think ahead that there will be a change of seasons where some of what was comes to an end.

As I notice these moments, I am prayerful to remain grateful for experiencing them, and remember just because one season is ending, doesn’t mean what to come isn’t more beautiful, it will just be different.

I know those words sound good to say, and many days I believe them and feel at peace. Yet I do have moments of sadness for what was as it’s been a sweet time raising these three kids and getting to be there for simple yet treasured moments beside them, like on a field trip.

I share this with you today as time, and time beside our loved one is the most precious gift. I invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.™

May we keep our eyes and ears on God each day to help us remain in the moment, and absorb the goodness of our people and the time with them. And when we are reminded of these “lasts,” may we give thanks for what was, what is and for what is to come. Then, may we we no longer look back, or ahead, but instead pray to be in the present moment beside them, where peace, joy and gratitude will meet us and guide us each step forward.

For more encouragement, be sure to listen to this week's NEW Pause. Breathe. Pray.™ podcast episode HERE.

With love and hope,
Shawn

“You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy;

at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”
- Psalm 16:11

The Power Of Prayer

Last night I was driving home with Matt and I said a prayer out loud for something we passed on the road. He said, “I never thought to pray for something like that.”

I said, “well it never hurts to pray.” Then I went on to share with him what someone shared with me once, how even though we may never see the results of our prayers we can at least put them out there. It’s like the flap of a butterflies wings that change the quality of the air near and far, our prayers do the same thing.

I know prayer isn’t a go to these days like it used to be yet I have experienced the power of prayer and want the same for you, whether the prayers are for yourself, or for someone else.

I share this with you today as a reminder of the power of prayer. Prayer doesn’t mean we always get what we want. And like a child and parent relationship, not every parent gives their child their desires because they see the bigger picture. In life, we are the children and God is our parent and prayer is our conversation with God.

So today, whatever is on your heart, I invite you to join me to…

pause. breathe. pray.™

May we be willing to share our desires, wishes, worries, fears and doubts with God. Like the flap of the butterflies wings, may we trust in the unseen, and that our prayers can change things. God hears our hearts. May we rest in knowing that God loves us, listens to us, is for us, and will do what is best.

And whether we see the impact of our prayers or not, may that never stop us from asking, or believing in their power.

With love and hope,
Shawn
For more encouragement, be sure to listen to this week's PBP podcast episode "Please, stop telling yourself lies! Three steps to renew your mind."


With love and hope,
Shawn

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God..”
- Philippians 4:6

How there is Wisdom and Strength In Silence Sometimes

Yesterday our family went for a walk in a park. While we were there we witnessed a heart-breaking yet powerful moment from afar.

As we were walking we heard one man screaming, he was so loud that we heard him across the park. His voice was filled with anger and rage. When we stopped walking to see what was going on. This man was was standing about 10 or so yards away from another man who was innocently walking two dogs. The enraged man was screaming profanity at this other man for no reason at all, and what he was screaming was awful. The man with the dogs kept his composure, and distance, saying nothing back. The out of control man eventually walked on, continuing to rant, rave and scream upsetting things. 

Two people, who were close to the scene, approached the man with the dogs. It was lovely to see what appeared to be strangers checking in on him. Then they held up their phones to him - my gut was that they had recorded what happened and shared it with him.  A little while later we saw the man with the dogs was with the police. He was holding his phone up to them. The police car soon headed in the direction of the enraged man who was still wandering through the park. 

Witnessing this heart-breaking yet powerful moment made me think of real wisdom and strength. The man full of anger was saying all sorts of things in a loud voice that would appear to make the words strong yet what he displayed was lack of wisdom and weakness, tearing down another human with his words.

Wisdom here was the man with the dogs who chose to say nothing. And strength was in his ability to not react to the awful words being spewed at him. Rather than addressing the man himself, he responded wisely letting the law enforcement approach the man.

I share this with you today as reminder that our words and actions - and silence and inaction - are powerful, and we need to chose to use them wisely. Inspired by the man of integrity yesterday, I invite you to join me to...

pause. breathe. pray.™ 

May we all learn from his healthy response that we don't need to react to noise, hate, and lies. Instead in our silence, may we gain insight and strength from the Lord to know what we are to say and do, or what we need not say and do so that we don't feed the fire, but instead help diffuse it in one another, like this man did yesterday.

For more encouragement, be sure to listen to this week's PBP podcast episode "Please, stop telling yourself lies! Three steps to renew your mind."


With love and hope,
Shawn

“The tongue of the wise commends knowledge,
but the mouths of fools pour out folly.”
- Proversb 15:2